It took me how many attempts and tries to launch a blog site, even now that it is no longer the trend. I realized my passion for writing during my senior year in High School. Maybe because I was always an introvert, writing would allow me to express myself and my opinions without hesitation. Writing is compelling enough that once in history, expressing opinions on specific topics was deemed illegal. This may be why pen names were conceptualized to hide the identity of writers to avoid prosecution. 

They say knowledge is power, and one of the ways you can gain knowledge is through reading. Remember the good ol' days when we had to read numerous chapters during school break before school resumed? Reading is as powerful as writing. You cannot write without readers; you can, but without someone reading your piece, it is useless. Written texts are only influential if they get to the appropriate audiences. Written texts sparked most revolutions in the world. For example, in the Philippines, during the late 1800s, numerous Filipinos secretly penned articles about the Castilians, and there they revealed how they ruled the island nation for three centuries, stripping people's rights and exploiting lands for their benefit. The most notable Filipino writer was Dr. Jose P. Rizal, the Philippines' national hero. After several articles, texts like Graciano Lopez Jaena and Marcelo H. del Pillar's La Solidaridad, Jose Rizal's most famous novels Noli Me Tangere and El filibusterismo, among others, the Indios were awakened, and the rest was history. If you reference Netflix's Bridgerton, one character named Penelope had to disguise herself and use a pen name to hide her true identity. The people relied on her publication, which became their primary information source. Of course, the Queen did not like that, so she ordered a search to reveal the person behind Lady Whistledown. Although fictional, it is not made of. 

I remember my very first attempt to write. I auditioned for a student publication at my former High School. I did not make it. Instead, I continued writing fictional stories based on real characters and true stories, but only for pleasure. I would occasionally have my friends read them, but there it stopped. I enrolled in college to pursue writing. It took me a long time to finish, but everything that happened in between is life events that provided real-life experiences that shaped who I am today. I finally finished college, but after almost two decades, my priorities have changed. I've learned that you cannot always wait for the perfect timing; you must wait for the right time. And when you feel that, you have to grab that opportunity and make that moment yours on your terms. Remember, nobody is perfect, just like no work is perfect. It is up to you to make it that. We cannot please everybody, and no matter how gracefully you present yourself to the public, there will always be at least one person who will criticize you. Don't let that stop you from becoming who you want to be and doing what you want to do. The right time is for you to decide, not for others. 

So here I am at a time when almost everyone has turned Vloggers, Journalists, and everything in between without proper training. I thought, if they can do it, so can I; so can you. I have to do it and make it my own. Who cares what other people will say? Screw them. This is my life. It's now or never. This is my write time. 

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Com·pla·cen·cy is defined as "a feeling of smug or uncritical satisfaction with oneself or one's achievements." (Oxford Dictionary)

What is something you have always wanted to do but have yet to do? When I turned 30, people said, "Life starts at 30." Some say life starts at 40 or 50, while others say at 60. Indeed, when you are getting older, age becomes just a number.

I wondered how my life would have been had I not immigrated to the United States. I would have finished college and had a decent job. My mom wanted me to pursue her nurse dream, but I politely declined. You must, at the least, like what you do to succeed. Nursing is not for me. So bless the hearts of all the nurses around the world that dedicate their lives 12 hours a day or more to care for strangers. 

Now that I am halfway through life, I am more open to new possibilities. It's literally "go where my feet take me." I am no longer scared of the unknown because I learned to control what I can and let go of what I can't. But don't get me wrong. It's hypocritical of me to say I don't get hurt. I am a human being, so I have emotions. I get hurt by rejections. Rejection sucks, but you have to take the risk because what if you don't, you won't know until you try. I was among the only two students from my small high school that took the coveted UPCAT (University of the Philippines College Admission Test). The University of the Philippines Diliman (UPD) has a 10-15% acceptance rate. For instance, the year I ambitiously took the exam, UPD accepted only 10,000 out of over 64,000 applicants (I know this because I kept my rejection letter.) I was mocked for it, but I always say, "At least I tried." Taking the UPCAT alone is an experience because only some dare to try. I was proud to be one of the 54,000 aspiring applicants that did not make the cut but was brave enough to try.

After I graduated from college, I decided to attend grad school because I did not want to waste my motivation to keep going. Choosing a program took time since I had difficulty landing a job in my field of study. Part of it was my complacency in not interning before or shortly after graduating. Why? Because I didn't feel the need to. I was already working for a Fortune 500 company. But, oh boy, I was wrong! I didn't realize I needed a professional experience from the outside world before being allowed to go to war. It's like you trained to be a soldier and have the idea, but you have yet to apply them in real life, so you are not fit to go to war because you only look good on paper. Many think I am wasting energy and financial resources by going to grad school. Some people think I am an over-achiever, ambitious, and do not have contentment. So what if I am? This is my life, my choice. And if I end up not using my degree, I experience it and excel. It is a very expensive experience, but some of life's most unforgettable experiences cost a fortune. Look at your travels. Traveling is learning, too, and that costs money. You are investing to see and learn the world, and I am investing to expand my knowledge by getting proper training in whatever I am in school for. 

If anything, it wasn't about being contented. It was about being complacent (see definition above.)

So, yes, I am chasing the unknown, as you may call it. But at least I am trying because right now is not the ending I envisioned. I am bound to do bigger things in life. I don't want to be miserable. I have to do something about it, and if chasing the unknown is what it takes, so be it. When I reach the avenue of the unknown, I can go left or right. Possibilities are endless and never a dead-end. You have to keep going. 

So, make a choice, and do something you have always wanted to do but have yet to do. It's always possible to change your ending because that's up to you if you want to call it that. 

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